My mum and dad’s 75th Wedding Anniversary
My post yesterday–about the 89-year-old-man who went missing from his care home to attend the 70th Anniversary of the D-Day-Landings–raises concerns about how some care homes give care.
I must add that this particular care home in Hove, Sussex, (England) has denied reports that they wouldn’t let him attend the commemorations at Normandy and say they even tried to arrange his transport but his request to attend was given too late. They say the veteran in question–a former mayor of Hove–is free to come and go at the care home as he is physically independent.
I don’t know which version of events is true, but I do believe all residential units for the elderly should cater for their social requirements as well as their health needs, and I also know this isn’t always the case. I would really like to know what experiences other have about this.
Do you have an elderly relative in a care home? Is there some social activity they’d like to take part in but denied?
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Author -Carole Parkes 
Yes, it was a difficult time, especially for mum who would rather have gone home. However she settled pretty quickly. I still have quite a few of their odds and ends in a box and I’ll never part with them, even though I know I carry treasured memories in my heart. How lucky your mum’s home was big enough for you to live with her. Did you have to give up your own home?
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Oh, and thank you for the reblog.
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Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
I also loved this story of the feisty and determined old boy – showing the same sort of spirit he would have needed on D-Day. I did quite a bit of research on care homes when my mother thought that might be an option at 90 but to be honest in the end she stayed at home. We lived with her – but she was fairly independent up until the last couple of years. The main worry she and her contempories had was the night-time – having someone there if anything happened. I found great homes where everyone was treated as individuals but they tend to be the smaller ones with around 20 – 30 residents maximum. Tough to find the balance between care and institutionalism.
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How lovely that you cared for your mother enough to research the homes. I did the same when after more than twenty years of caring for them–the latter ten without a holiday–I was looking for respite care for two weeks so we could finally take a break. The first week they were there, was spent fetching this or fetching that despite the fact I had asked them several times what they wanted to take whilst packing for them. We did manage to have a little holiday the second week but on our return when we went to collect, my dad insisted he wanted to stay. He thought it was wonderful but mum did want to go home really. However, she decided if dad was staying then so would she. We had to call in the Social Worker to arrange it because it was very short notice. This was when Dad was 95 and mum was 91. I have to admit I was surprised by dad’s reaction as he was adamant he’d never go in a care home, and also relieved that they would be looked after 24 hours a day. It was a lovely home and my parents even shared a double room to begin with; sadly,the whole bulding was refurbished and the double room was made into two singles. That wasn’t too bad as the staff let them have one room as a sitting room and the other as a shared bedroom. I do miss them.
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Wonderful that you found a home they were happy in – I think one of the worst things is parting with their memories in the form of knick knacks etc. I have a problem de-cluttering for our next move – everything is a reminder of a time, place or person. However, have to grow up sometime!! Have a great weekend.
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