Searching for Happiness is Futile

Searching for Happiness is Futile

Searching for happiness is a futile exercise simply because it isn’t something physical you can find if you look hard enough. It isn’t something you can see, something external you can pluck, nor, more importantly, is it something others can give you.

Yet, the phrases ‘He doesn’t make me happy’ or ‘Stop making me unhappy’ are commonly used between couples and families. It’s as if people expect others to make them happy when, in truth, happiness is a state of being that can only grow from within yourself. It is a state of mind that comes with being able to deal with whatever crap life throws at you. When we can’t solve a problem the best we can do is learn to live with it and not let it consume us.

Your Happiness Depends Entirely on You

You are responsible for your own happiness, no-one else. You will never achieve a true state of happiness if you expect it to come from the actions of others. Your state of mind often depends on how you react to difficult situations.

Instead of seeing how the actions of others adversely affect you, think how much more relaxed you’d be if you didn’t allow them to affect you. Learning to ignore those irritating triggers and concentrating on something more positive instead, could make you so much more relaxed and calmer. It does take a bit of effort to re-adjust your way of thinking at first, but it is worth the effort.

Striving too hard for material possessions also lowers our level of happiness.

There are some basic possessions we all need to live our lives comfortably in this modern world, but it’s the continual striving for the latest model or gadget that lowers our happiness levels. We don’t need to compete. By continually replacing and renewing you’re just encouraging others to join in the race. That puts more pressure on you start the upgrading round again. So what if you’re gadget if a few years old? As long as it still functions, why waste your money? Be content with what you have. Contentment contributes greatly to happiness.

Self Loathing

Whether it’s how you look, how you act, or something you’ve done, if you hate yourself because of it, happiness will elude you. To become more relaxed, content and happy, you first have to forgive yourself. The past is impossible to change, but you can learn from it and resolve never to make those same mistakes again.

Build your new life from now, this minute, this very second. We are all worthy of self-love. Only when we are content with ourselves can we be truly aware of the needs of others and see our happiness is not their responsibility. They have enough responsibility looking after their own happiness.

Once we are content with who we are, ease up on our material expectations, and stop blaming others for our unhappiness, we are free to expand our contented state and let it grow into happiness.

Breathe Think Write Release

We must learn to love ourselves before we can love another.
This is a well known fact now.
Knowing our self worth is so important.

So many times in our life we search for a partner, someone to love us, someone to make us happy. We walk into relationships searching for someone to complete us.

We come with our baggage, we come with our expectations and with all these needs. We come and unsurprisingly we eventually have to leave.

Should we not be going into a relationship already happy, already whole. Should a partner not bring additional joy to your life, not the only joy.

At times we get into relationships, two broken beings feeding of each other’s soul. Two stagnant souls you’ll be, stuck in a rut trying to fix each other.

Instead we should focus on being happy whilst single. When alone; this is the time to learn…

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About caroleparkes

My husband calls me a butterfly because I flit from one hobby to another. Apart from being a wife for 52 years, a mother of three sons, and a grandmother, I'm also an author, genealogist, amateur artist, a lover of most needlecrafts, and occasional poet. Of the above, my most enduring interest has been writing and I hope to be doing it well into old age.
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